


Reaching Cloud Nine

by Windfall13



Series: So, about Lance... [7]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depressed Lance (Voltron), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Happy Ending, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Past Abuse, Team Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-01-31 20:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18599023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Windfall13/pseuds/Windfall13
Summary: Lance would never stop fighting…





	Reaching Cloud Nine

**Author's Note:**

> Setting: End of season 7(season 8 doesn’t exist)

“What do you mean you’re not coming?” Keith asked forcefully. Lance looked him straight in the eyes with an unrelenting glare, “It means I’m not going back to space.”

Pidge was in disbelief, “So what? You’re quitting?”

“Yes.” Lance could stand to be a little nicer right now, but with the way they treated him, he didn’t think they deserved any remorse. Keith pounded the desk in front of him, “Voltron’s not some after school club you can quit, Lance!”

Half of the team stood opposite of Lance across the meeting table. Allura was meeting with Shiro, who was going through physical therapy for his new arm. Lance himself had dismissed the Garrison meeting himself, saying that he needed some privacy with his team. Coran glared at Keith, “Number 4, you will not speak to him like that and you will accept his choice!”

“But he-“

“Okay, what do I need to do to quit? Cut off my finger? Run far away from you guys?” Lance hissed, “You may be the leader, Keith, but you sure as hell aren’t my fucking dad.”

Lance regretted his words as he saw Keith flinch and Coran’s shocked face. Lance apologized, “I’m sorry to be harsh but why do you guys care so much now?”

“We’ve always cared about you, Lance! We’ve just been a little busy and we’re sorry!” Hunk exclaimed quickly. Pidge nodded frantically. Lance scoffed, “The last person to say that was my dad. But you know what? He never cared. He was just like you guys: instead of encouraging me, he beat me down even though I was already dead.”

“Lance…” Coran whispered.

“Can you clarify or are you just going to beat around the bush still?” Keith said, getting impatient, “What did he do, Lance?”

Lance glared at Keith again, “Do I have to spell it out? He abused me.”

“So what? Do you want us to feel sorry?!” Keith yelled. Pidge tugged at Keith’s sleeve as they pleaded, “Keith, no.”

Lance knew Keith was angry, and that he didn’t mean those words. But Lance was tired of being patient with his team, “No. I could care less what you think about it.” A pause. “Honestly, I just thought you guys would just cut me some slack since I died.”

“You didn’t die! Don’t be...” Keith trailed off, “Wait...”

Coran then looked away and muttered something about Allura. At first, Lance was confused on why everyone was so shocked that Coran left the room. That’s when Lance saw his mistake, “Oh crap.”

Hunk exploded, “You died?!”

“Nooooo?”

“When?!”

“I didn’t die, Hunk.”

“It was probably when that burst of energy hit his lion.” Keith murmured. Pidge ran their fingers through their hair, “Oh god.”

“Oh come on, aren’t you being overdramatic?” Lance chuckled. Said man had never seen Hunk get so angry, “‘Overdramatic?!’ What do you mean ‘overdramatic’?! You died!”

“Not for very long, though. Besides, would you guys have even cared? You were so distracted with Pidge that not once did you think that something was wrong with me. Maybe I wouldn’t have killed myself.”

That was a low blow, and Lance knew it, but he didn’t apologize this time. The silence was so loud you could hear a pin drop.

“Nothing? Pathetic.” Lance spat before looking to Keith, “Excuse me while I go tell my decision to the REAL leaders of Voltron.”

With that, Lance left, leaving the others feeling guilty.

“I, uh, saw what his dad did.” Pidge said out of the blue.

“Oh.” Hunk said, not looking at them, clearly not interested. Keith could tell he was crying, so he asked Pidge, “What happened?”

“He, uh...his dad was pretty loud.” Pidge took off their glasses and rubbed their eye, “I think he called Lance worthless.”

Keith’s stomach sunk. He had called Lance worthless many times before before. Allura had called him useless multiple times. Almost everyone on the team had told Lance that he was replaceable. Sometimes they joked about getting a new paladin. Even Shiro had told him he wasn’t a part of the team, even if Shiro was a clone at that point.

Keith could remember how Lance curled in on himself every time he, Allura or Shiro raised their voice at him. He remembered the many times when Lance turned silent as everyone made fun of him. Keith thought it wasn’t one sided. Keith thought Lance liked the banter. Oh god they were all horrible people. All of them...except Coran. He was the only one who treated Lance like an actual human being. Lance was just a boy, and Coran was the only person he could look up to and trust when they all should’ve been there for him.

“We fucked up.”

No one said anything about their language.  
———————————————————  
“I apologize for interrupting such an interesting conversation.” Allura said with a giggle, “But you said there was something important.”

The laughter slowly died between the two men, then Lance cleared his throat and got straight to the point, “Right. I came here to tell you I’m leaving Voltron.”

Again, silence, which was something Lance expected.

“Lance, you-“

“If you want to leave, we won’t stop you.”

The two other beings in the room looked towards Shiro in shock. Shiro continued, “You’ve been a great soldier, Lance. You are probably the strongest person I’ve ever met. If you need time off, take it. Just know that we’ll be welcoming you back with open arms if you do want to return to the team.”

Allura exclaimed, “Shiro! We can’t just let him go!”

“And why can’t we?” Shiro said defensively, “He’s dealt with a lot. It’s his choice, and we’re not his guardians. If he returns, we’ll welcome him back.”  
“But Shiro, he may never come back!”

“And that’s fine. That’s Lance’s choice. I mean, think about Allura. Have we ever treated him like an actual member of our team? Have we even treated him like a friend? He died without anyone even knowing, Allura.”

“You knew?” Lance looked away. Shiro chuckled, “You guys weren’t exactly quiet. Anyway, when was the last time you truly appreciated him? And when was the last training session where you didn’t single him out?”

Allura winced, “I-“

“Face it. If we can’t appreciate someone or something, then we don’t deserve it.” Shiro said before looking to Lance, “It’s fine if you want to leave. I know I haven’t been the best leader.”

“Oh please. You were better than Keith and my dad.” Lance said with a happy smile, tears streaming down his face. Shiro smiled as well, “Just don’t be a stranger to the rest of them, okay? I know you won’t be able to forgive them, but at least say goodbye.”

“Thank you so much, Shiro!” Lance said happily. Allura swallowed thickly, clearly upset about the news before she sighed, “I’m really not okay with this, but if you truly wish to leave, then I won’t stop you.”

Lance nodded to her respectfully, “Thank you, Allura.”

Lance could tell she was hurt by the sudden choice, but she was taking it better than the others. A few tears escaped from her eyes as she tried not to look at Lance. He left before anyone else could say anything.  
———————————————————  
Lance folded the armor and placed the bayard on top of all of it before he put it in his backpack along with the clothes his family bought him. Just before he went out the door, he bumped into Keith. They both looked away sheepishly before they both said, “Sorry.”

“Ah, you first.” Keith said, rubbing the back of his neck. Lance took a deep breath, “Sorry for being harsh back there. I didn’t mean any of that.”

“Why are YOU apologizing?” Keith asked, “We should be saying sorry.”

Lance shrugged, “Maybe. I guess I just felt like I should.”

“I guess it’s ‘cause of your dad, right?” Keith placed a hand on Lance’s now tensed shoulder, “We’re sorry about how we treated you, Lance. I know won’t be able to ever forgive us. Hunk and Pidge feel guilty as hell. We do care Lance, but we’ve just...we just ended up using you as a stress ball, and you’re not. I never wanted you to leave. You’re an amazing paladin, and a great sharpshooter. We’ll really miss you Lance.”

Lance actually thought he was going to cry the second time that day. He wiped his nose, “Wow. You actually have feelings.”

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“I always thought you were a dick.”

“Hey!”

“And anyway, don’t worry. I don’t hate you guys. I was just...disappointed? I understood what you guys were going through but I was still a boy too. I can’t forgive you.” Lance looked away from Keith as he said the last sentence. Lance continued, “I will say goodbye though. When are you guys leaving?”

“Tomorrow morning.” Keith muttered.

“Wow. You guys don’t mess around. What about Shiro?”

“He says he’s gonna be fine, but I’m going to keep an eye on him.”

“Cool, cool.”

“So what about you?”

“Well now that dad’s not a part of the family, we’re basically on our own. Veronica’s gonna stay in the Garrison, Luis has his boyfriend and Marco has his own family. I’m going to stay with mom and try and get a job to help out. We’re both seeing a therapist so we gotta stick together.”

The dinner bell rung and heavy conversations soon festered outside in the halls. Keith looked back at Lance with sad eyes, “Are you gonna be joining?”

“No, I don’t think so. I want some time with my family.”

Keith bit his lip. Lance steeled himself for another argument. Keith finally sighed, looking sad, “Fine. I guess I’ll...see you tomorrow.”

Lance was shocked at how easily Keith let it go, “Uh, yeah. See ya.”

Keith left without another word. He didn’t even look back. Lance sighed in relief. He was just glad it was all over but also wished he never told them. Lance frowned at that. Sure his friends were pricks, but they at least deserved an explanation and farewell. He just wasn’t that type of person. Finally, Lance shrugged his backpack onto his shoulder and walked out of the room.

———————————————————

Lance had never been to the cafeteria before. Despite how large the room was and how many tables were there, there were still quite a few people who had to sit on the floor. Lance could even see people on the second floor as they dangled their feet under the railings. Thankfully, the lines to the food was empty. With a hearty smile, the aliens behind it, thankfully, fed him actual food: pizza with fries and some fruit. It wasn’t much but he preferred this than the hospital food.

So there he stood: in the middle of the cafeteria amongst the loud conversations. Lance hoped no one would recognize him. He didn’t want to play paladin right now. His hope for that shattered when he heard his name being called, “Hey, Lance!”

He begrudgingly turned to the noise but lightened up when he saw Marco wave at him. He made his way to his family’s table but was stopped when his name was called again. He turned to the call but frowned when he saw the source. Pidge gave him a sad smile while Hunk stared with begging eyes. Lance stared back with an emotionless expression before he went to his family’s table like nothing happened. Lance felt a pang of regret and didn’t dare look back at them as he gave his family the best smile he could manage.

“How does it feel to finally walk, Mcclain?” Luis asked. Lance scoffed, “Go back to talking with your boyfriend, Luis. I’m just fine.”

“Hey!” Luis’ boyfriend scolded, “Don’t talk to your elders like that!”

Lance scowled, “By a few seconds, Jesse, a few seconds!”

The table laughed at Lance scowl and the Cuban found it hard to keep the look on his face as a smile broke out. When was the last time he truly enjoyed a family dinner? He remembered his lonely dinners as the people around him chattered away. Lance truly missed moments like these. He asked, “So is anyone going to tell me about Veronica?”

“About what? How I’m better than you?” Veronica teased. Lance laughed out loud before he said, “So you suddenly think you’re hot shit now that you’re part of the Garrison?”

“Lance!” His mother exclaimed, but Veronica went right over the warning, “Hell yeah! Have you seen my shooting skills?!”

“I’ve been fighting in an intergalactic war! I can snipe anywhere, bitch!”

“You wanna go?!”

“Hell yeah I wanna-“

Maria tugged her childrens’ ears, “Veronica and Lance! Things may be different but you will both be respectful and not curse at the table.”

She let go of their ears as they looked to the floor with embarrassment, “Yes, Mom.” Veronica snickered as Lance mimicked Maria when she wasn’t looking. Then Maria glared at Lance with a death stare as Veronica howled with laughter.

“Gimme a break, mom! I just got back to earth!” Lance complained. Maria rolled her eyes, “Eat your food, Lance. It’s  going to get cold.”

Lance shrugged and turned his attention back to his delicious pizza. He never thought aliens could make the best pizza he ever tasted, or maybe his tastebuds weren’t the same ever since he had been stuck with space goo.

“Lance.” His shoulder tapped by someone behind him. Lance turned around, mouth filled with pizza, “Hmm?” Then his jaw dropped when he saw Angelo. Maria awkwardly scolded him, “Lance, chew with your mouth closed.”

Angelo quickly explained himself, “I-I’m sorry about what I said yesterday, Lance. I wasn’t in the right mind and I know I messed up. I’ll get better, I promise. I just don’t want you to leave me.”

Upon the explanation, Lance stood up straight, intimidating Angelo. Lance loudly interrupted him, “You don’t want me to leave? What about those times you said you didn’t want me to be born?”

“Lance, I-“

“You are a coward, Angelo!” Lance shouted confidently and passionately, catching everyone’s attention, “You’re not a man. You’re not my dad! You’re nothing to me!”

Lance felt tears run down his face. Angelo sniffled. Everything was slipping out of Angelo’s control; that was what Lance wanted. Desperately, Angelo looked to his mother, “Did you know your son’s crazy?”

“Oh please…” Maria turned away from him, trying to focus on her food. Lance pushed him away, “Leave.”

“Your spoiled son’s a psycho! He tried to kill himself!” Angelo shouted. Maria’s head whipped back to Angelo, “What?”

“He tried to kill himself, Maria!” Kinkade and James were quick to detain him. They dragged him out of the cafeteria as he shouted, “He’s insane! His mind is possessed and he’ll hurt you all!”

The shouting died down until Angelo was no more. Maria tugged at Lance’s arm, “Lancey, sit down please. Everyone’s staring.”

Lance just sighed as he sat down, rubbing his snot and tears with his sleeve. He forced himself to look at everyone. They all stared with shock, curiosity and annoyance. His entire team was almost on their feet. Keith was standing two rows ahead, Shiro was almost to his feet while the others stayed in the seats, but very alert. Lance quickly turned away, “I’m sorry, Mom.”

His family shuffled uncomfortable as they picked at their food. Conversations steadily rose in volume until it was back to normal, like nothing happened. Maria looked Lance in the eyes, “Is it true, Lance?”

Veronica hissed at her, “Mom.”

“It’s fine, Veronica.” Without looking at his mom, Lance answered, “I did, mom. I’m so sorry.”

Maria closed her eyes as she took deep breaths, “It’s fine, Lance. Are you getting help?”

“A therapist came to my room, remember?”

“I know, I know. I just wish you told me something, Lance.”

“I’m sorry, Mom.”

“It’s fine, Lancey.” Maria smiled, “As long as you’re okay.”

“Ugh, Angelo is such a dick!” Luis complained. Veronica nodded, “I know. How was that dickhead our dad?”

“Veronica! Luis! We may not be married, but he is still your father!” Maria scolded, embarrassing the two before she continued, “So please go on.”

“Mom!” Veronica playfully hit her in the arm as Maria giggled. Lance’s wet face broke out into a grin again. Yeah, he could get used to this.

———————————————————

Lance’s hand slammed on his alarm clock for the umpteenth time that morning. Maria lightly scolded Lance as she shook him, “You promised them.”

“I know but so early?” Lance groaned. Instead of taking a shower like a normal person, he put on his mother’s robe and didn’t bother tying it. Maria reassured him, “I’ll make you some garlic knots and you’ll go back to sleep.”

Tiredly, Lance struggled with the door, “Thanks, mom, you’re the best. See you later. Love you.”

“Love you too, Lancey! Be safe!”

Lance shut the door behind him and shuffled down the empty halls with his sockless shoes. It was somewhat freezing, but Lance wasn’t really surprised since it was a supposed to be a space base, not a hotel. Lance picked up his pace when he reached the stairs. He didn’t want to miss them after all. Why did he even care? It’s not that his team treated him with any equal respect, so why did he promise them to wake up at the butt crack of dawn? Maybe because he still cared? Perhaps, but it was too late to go back if he even wanted to.

He was already outside in the cold air of the morning, and, from the corner of his eyes, were the 5 lions, all of which were in plane hangars. Lance chuckled to himself as he walked fast towards the hangars. That’s when he saw them. They all chattered away as they made the final preparations before they took off.

Keith was, as usual, brooding against his previous lion. A pang of guilt set in Lance’s heart. Keith was no longer the leader. Lance was busy throwing tantrums when he was upgraded to the red lion, but Keith seemed to have accepted the role pretty easily.

Hunk excitedly argued with Pidge, most likely about science stuff since he said “well according to the laws of physics”. Lance wasn’t really too keen with the stuff. Maybe that was why Hunk wanted to hang out with Pidge: because Pidge more than Lance would ever know. Hunk and Pidge had more things in common than Lance and Hunk. Even though his jealousy rose, Lance couldn’t help but smile at the red, angry face Pidge was making.

Of course, Shiro, Allura and Coran were all talking together, most likely about their next move. Lance frowned. He wished he could help, he really did. But he swore that he would break after another battle. Sucking up his tears, Lance called out, “Hey, dweebs!”

Everyone immediately stopped talking and they were running at him in an instant. To his horror, everyone landed on Lance and they all fell to the ground in a group hug.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll miss you all too…” Lance felt a sharp pain on his crotch, “but my dick! AAAAHHHH! Get off of penis, please! Someone is laying on it and that is not a good feeling!”

The unlucky paladin, who was Allura, jumped off of him, “Oh god, I’m so sorry! Is your male genitalia okay?”

Lance quickly covered himself when he realized that his entire body was exposed to the entire team. He silently wished he at least put on some underwear.

“I didn’t think you’d actually come here.” Keith said. Lance just scoffed, “Seriously? Why else would I set my alarm at the earliest fucking time?”

“Sorry, Lance, but the quicker we leave, the better.” Allura explained sheepishly. Shiro nodded, “Yeah. I think we had a pretty good break time but we have to go back out there.”

Lance shrugged, “Eh, I guess.”

“So you really are staying here?” Hunk questioned, hoping for a different answer. Lance was disappointed that he had to shut Hunk down. Lance crossed his arms over the robe, “I can’t go, you guys. I know you’re all willing to change and stuff, but I just can’t trust any of you and that’ll affect the entire team bond.”

Pidge begged, “But you not being there will also affect the bond.”

“But not as much, though, Pidgeon.” Lance said, “Besides, you all got over Keith pretty quick and he was a big member.”

“Not as big as you.” Keith retorted. Shiro placed a hand on Keith’s shoulder, “Lance is right. Besides, this is his choice. We can’t force him to stay with us, Keith. It’s not about the bond this time, Keith. It’s about the man in the lion. We have to make sure everyone else is okay above anything else. Right, Allura?”

“Yes, Shiro.” Allura then looked to Lance, “For the past few years I’ve been working with this team, Lance, you have taught me something about leadership. This whole time I was only thinking about the previous paladins when I should’ve been focusing on us. I’m so sorry I...did all those things to you, Lance.”

Coran squeezed her shoulder with a tear filled smile, “Alfor would be proud of you, dear.”

Lance’s eyes filled with tears at the apology. Pidge swallowed and then spoke up, “I’m sorry for calling you names and ignoring you.”

“And I’m sorry for neglecting you!” Hunk exclaimed and then Shiro went along, “I’m sorry for not being a better leader.”

Shiro looked to Keith, who blushed and looked away as he awkwardly stated his apology, “I-I’m sorry for being rude...I mean I’m sorry for being a dick.”

Lance’s tears of happiness started to over flow, “You guys...I didn’t think you would really…”

Pidge threw themself back onto Lance, “We’re really going to miss you.”

Lance squeezed them tightly one last time, “I’ll miss you too, Pidgeon. And all of you guys. I’ll miss all of you guys. Be safe! I don’t want a funeral, please.”

The other paladins nodded somberly. Pidge let go and Lance saw their heartbroken eyes stare longingly at him. Lance stared back with the same expression, “I’ll still be here, you know.”

“B-But it won’t be the same.” Hunk said. Keith encouraged them, “Guys, it may not be the same without Lance but can we at least be strong for him?”

The heaviest criers nodded. Allura smiled kindly, “We’re really going to miss you.”

“I know.” Lance said, “Come back soon, okay? AND in one piece.”

Everyone else laughed while Shiro rolled his eyes. Lance suddenly announced, “When I say ‘Vol’, you say ‘Tron’! Vol-“

“Tron!”

“Voltron!”

Everyone groaned with annoyance. Pidge glared at Keith, “You always fucked that up.”

“Language.” Shiro sighed as Keith complained, “How did I fuck it up?”

Lance chuckled, “Alright, now get the hell outta here. I’m tired.”

The other paladins only nodded, as they were all afraid that if they said one more word, they’d all break down again. They all went to their newly assigned lions: Shiro with black, Keith with red, Allura and Coran with blue, Hunk with yellow and Pidge with green. All of the lions stepped out into the open and powered up for take off. Lance frantically waved goodbye to them, hoping they’d see him. All the lions suddenly took off into the air. Lance ran after them, still waving and hoping they’d see him until they all disappeared into the sky.

He rubbed his nose on the robe as he sniffled. He didn’t think it would be so emotional. But then again, he never thought he’d fly a blue lion into space. Maybe it wasn’t so bad. Voltron would get better, both as people and as a team, and they would surely take down Zarkon this time around.

Lance could only hope for the best with his father. Lance had done all he could to be a “perfect child” in his father’s eyes, now Lance had the reigns and it was his dad who had to follow the rules.

Lance stared at the sky for a couple more moments before he headed back to the main base. It wasn’t going to be any easier on earth. Everyone was still healing and society needed a new stability, especially Lance himself. He had nearly given up before, but that won’t stop him. He wasn’t broken or too far gone to get back up on his feet again.

He would never lose faith.

He would never stop fighting.

**Author's Note:**

> And that’s it! Thank you guys for sticking with me until the end of the series! Remember, recovery is possible, you’re not “broken” and remember that there are people to talk to. I really hoped you guys enjoyed and ✌️!
> 
> Tumblr: realwindfalltreason


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